Five Years, Who’s Counting


Was it yesterday I said goodbye
Without saying anything
Too many people crowded your
Bedside, holding your hands
Praying their prayers and yours
I wanted an empty room
The space to breathe along
With you as you breathed
The last of our air
The end of your prayers
In a quiet room I would have
Told you I would miss you
I might have said I loved you
But not with others listening in
So I said goodbye without saying
Anything, holding those words
In a heart already too fragile
Too small to contain the unspoken
The heaviness of a mother’s bond
Finally grown strong at the end
We never said those words, did we
Not out loud
You left us to sweep up the dust
Your dried tears covering our lives
Your heart too fragile to hold
Seven other lives with love
Love braided with hatred
Woven with pain never ending
Your mind so tired laid down
Its memories, setting aside
The us and the you
The life and the lies
And the tears turned to dust
I peer into those dark corners
Sweeping away what I can reach
Tomorrow I’ll try for more
It’s the work of a lifetime
Freeing myself from the dust
Holding my breath and yours
Bearing the weight of feeling
What couldn’t be said
In a crowded room, the
End of our prayers, the amen